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Thursday, November 11, 2010

Day 2 in Langkawi - @ The Datai (my CEB)

My CEB has fallen right asleep across the very comfy bed in our room at The Datai and I'm not sure I want to wake him so I thought I'll take this chance to write out my thoughts about him. After all, today is (or approximately is, we can't really recall) the day we have been together for 4 months.

Now, my CEB and I have been v good friends for far longer than that, almost 3 years come early next month. He knows all about my past, as do I about his, given that during the past 3 years we would meet up about once a week for dinner/movie/drinks. However, we both were at some stage or another during those 3 years, focused or committed to other individuals - it is a wide wide world out there after all. And we just never had that spark, the spark to ignite a platonic friendship to something more, which is why I said in my earlier and first post about us, that us getting together as a couple was totally unexpected.

Well now that this has happened, and that we have spent all this time together, I would say that when I look at him now, I feel so blessed, so fortunate to have him in my life. No one knows what tomorrow will bring, heck, no one even knows if one will awake tomorrow from one's sleep tonight, so I don't want to speculate what the future might hold for us both. All I have, and all I am assured of is this moment, the present. And at this moment, I can and will, hand on my heart say that I love him whole heartedly without reserve. 4-5 months ago, I would have scoffed and laughed at you if you had suggested that I would love my best friend, much less love him enough to want to wake up to and with him every single morning of my life.

Which is the way I feel right now with my CEB - I want to, and I have agreed to wake up to him every morning from Spring next year. When I look over at him in the passenger seat laughing, nodding while breaking out in song spontaneously to National Geographic's song "I love my (insert his most unflattering pet name for me)...boom bi ya" I marvel at how hard my heartstrings are being tugged. And when we were searching for a home together and I exasperatedly asked him what he wanted, he answered me in his usual simple and straight forward manner "I just want a house to be with my (insert again that unflattering pet name)". Our only regret so far about this relationship is that we didn't start earlier.

If you ask me what I love about him, being with him, it wouldn't be just these moments or words alone. It would be his honesty, trustworthiness, directness, intelligence and sense of humor. He makes me laugh more than anyone else ever has, and although we do have our disputes (more recently because of the stress we are under), at the bottom line, he brings into my life more light and joy than darkness and doubt. He also makes me feel protected, safe.

And I would write more but it is hard to type one handed...after those paras above, my CEB kinda woke up and is now all curled up sleeping against me as I sit propped up in bed, his netbook on my lap. If I move my left arm which is on his back and around the top of his head so as to type better, he would wake. There is also a thunderstorm going on outside in the rainforest our hotel is built in, and the lulling sounds of the rumbling thunder and heavy rain pouring down as well as my CEB's gentle deep breathing means it is time to stop writing and go to bed.

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