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Monday, December 13, 2010

The Chronicles Of Narnia: The Voyage Of The Dawn Treader

The Slog Reviews: 10/10. An epic story with layers of meaning about life, choices and temptations that was wonderfully protrayed and packaged in a well-paced entertaining movie with great graphics and 3D effects. A must-watch and I have my CEB to thank for making the wise choice of picking this movie despite my lack of interest.

The last 15mins of this movie was particularly hard for me - because it was about endings and choices. And the thing about some choices is that when you make it, you don't get a second chance. Yes, I do know that life is all about choices, accidents, endings and beginnings but knowing doesn't ease the pain within. Try as I might to compartmentalise and rationalise, try as I might to adopt a half-full positive attitude instead of seeing myself as a victim of circumstances, I still hurt, still mourn and still ache when I think about the endings that await me in 2011.

I suck at goodbyes. I don't think there is a word more dreadful in the English language than this simple word. I know, oh don't I know oh-so-well, that no one can stay with us forever. At the end of the day, at the end of this life on earth, we have just ourselves and our maker. But even that faith doesn't stop me from waking up crying, with my face streaked in tears.The second time in my entire life when this has happened. I'm not ashamed of my feelings, nor ashamed of my having chosen to love . The intensity of the loss is the price I pay for this choice, and hard as it is to bear, I would suffer this again twice over, no thrice over, in order that the person I love might be happy. It isn't about being heroic, it isn't about being noble, it is about loving - and part of loving is respecting the choices that the person you love make, esp where that choice means a parting of ways, an ending of yout time together.

For those of you who know I am talking about, please don't ask me again about showing this entry or the previous entry to that person in question. Please let me give that person a small token, perhaps the only token of value I could ever give - which is to let go gracefully and let the person go forth most happily - my pathetic inability to rein in my feelings must never be a blot on that person's happiness and plans for the future. I alone should and must pay the price for the lack of fortitude, strength, emotional maturity and whatever else that prevents me from not recognising the person staring back in the mirror these days.

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