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Wednesday, March 16, 2016

Passports and prayers

Unlike many other parents I know of, we only made passports for the twins this month, 2 months shy of their 3rd birthday. Although travelling is free for a child under the age of 2, we didn't want to travel and be miserable. I'm sure it must have been awesome for those who traveled with their wee ones but I just didn't see myself doing that diapering, feeding and carrying around the clock, along with carrying a huge diaper bag, In fact, if it weren't for us being invited to stay in a USD1200 a night water villa with a private plunge pool in the middle of the Indian Ocean, we wouldn't be travelling this year either.

Since logistically it is still impossible for me to manage both on my own, we have decided on the "divide and conquer" strategy which will mean taking only one of the twins on vacation at a time until they are able to feed themselves and are more or less out of diaper, which is next year. We probably will go to Japan in April/May then when my helper returns for a break (and I hope she does return!) and I think that it may be far more meaningful than us trying to bring both along this year when both are still in diapers and refusing to self-feed although they are perfectly able to.

I've been sleeping at 10-12 most nights the past 3 weeks since Helper B left because I have never been able to sleep past 730am unlike before. I'm usually very tired and grouchy when my day starts with the bedroom door being flung open and the two rascals come running to the bedside for me to lift them up and well, start my day. Start my day involves tying up their hair, leading them to the bath, cleaning them up and changing them. Then starts the mind-numbing business of feeding them before school and then getting them into the car seats before doing the drop off and making my way to work while eating a sandwich on the way. I'm already beat before I start work and by 430pm I have to hop in the car and go race to pick them up before they are the last ones left sitting on the bleacher for an hour. It sucks. I call it groundhog day where every day involves the same routine and I can't pretend for a moment I am loving it. And even on the upcoming vacation, I doubt there will be much sleeping in. And oh, did I mention that I have to bring them for make up classes too since we will be gone the long weekend? Argh.

For this first trip overseas, I'm taking Twin B. I guess it shouldn't come as a surprise because she has always been the easier child. Easier as in, willing to suck milk fast from the breasts, milk bottle and try different food. Easier as in, wants to play and frolick in the pool without crying. Easier as in, not a mad screamer or crier for no absolute reason. Easier as in, willing to snuggle up close and sleep on my chest. Attributes which we will result in a less nightmarish "vacation". Our invitation to this water pool villa was procured on very clear terms "No crying". This would be impossible with Twin A given her tendency to pitch hysterics at will, refusal to try any other type of food except home cooked porridge and to drink from a milk bottle.

The differences between the twins narrow as the days go by, in terms of ability that is, but not temperament. Both are able to write 1 - 10 now in terms of mathematical ability and we will soon move on to equations. For English, both can read independently but Twin B has a superior vocab and is able to read and understand more complex words. Twin A shows little interest in reading at all, preferring to look at pictures and not making any effort to read books on her own. Twin B on the other hand, gets lost in books and words. She is intensely curious and very observant. Twin A however has a better attitude in school (all schools) and the teachers love her because she is generally helpful and obedient. Twin B has a poor attitude which smacks of a mix of defiance and being willful.

I have been trying to contact my friend, The Slug, (www.theslugreviews.blogspot.com) but he has proved rather reclusive. His recent blog entry was worrying, to say the least, and he seems to be headed for medical attention overseas which is a good thing (or a bad thing, depending how you look at it) because it means there is help to be gotten for his condition. He said to pray for him and we (mum, sis and I)) have been since we knew. I don't think he is very comfortable where he is and I do know better than to thrust myself upon him when he, in his own words "is trying to live life" but it's still all very worrying, this silence which is the opposite of what I have known of him. Got to keep trying to reach out to him though by whatever means and see if there is anything I can do. He's been there for me through the lowest points and it's disconcerting when I can't seem to find the right time to connect with him at all.

Tuesday, March 01, 2016

Life with just one helper

We sent Helper B off last Monday and I have been on leave till today - working out a schedule for Helper A and then trying to get my house in some sort of order before I start work. I've been waking at 645-7am when one of the twins burst into my room after their morning milk feed. Then it's bathing and changing them while the helper gets breakfast ready downstairs. It wasn't so bad when I was on leave and didn't have to work but today I feel just miserable - Twin B woke up at 6.15am and because I kept her in my room, she woke me up too at that ungodly hour. Really bad for concentration span at work, this sleep deprivation. Then I have got to get home, feed & bathe them before settling them for bed. The only upside to all this is that I am using more energy and therefore, should be losing weight. Should be? I better be.

I'm not sure how I feel about this new pre school they are in where independence is encouraged to the extent that I found the twins stripping themselves and putting on clothes sans diapers last week, delighting in their new found ability to take off their clothes. Just yesterday Twin A took off her diaper after she did a massive dump and all the shit was all over her cot. That was horrible. And in the evening, when left alone for just five minutes, she went to her school bag and emptied out the milk powder from the milk dispenser all over the living room. Twin B, at the same time when Twin A was dusting my floor with Enfa, pulled all the freaking tissue paper from the tissue paper box and laid each of them on the Ikea stools in the living area before proceeding to stand on one of the stools. I think I can handle one kid acting out but two at the same time doing two different things...world's end. And did I mention I have to wake up at 7am now?

I need to think how to improve the quality of my life or else I am going to be angry all the time. And that's not good for, well, those in close proximity.