Daisypath Anniversary tickers

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Tuesday, February 26, 2013

21 months togetherI

Given the hiatus in all the travelling (even to Msia), we decided to have a staycation at Conrad over the Valentine Day weekend and to celebrate our 21st wedding monthiversary at the same time.

We had a room on the business floor and executive lounge access (including breakfast) because of the Hilton Gold membership and with the use of a fraction of the Hilton points we'd clocked up last year, the cost came up to less than SGD150. I'm still not quite sure why my CEB and I both feel that this is money well spent despite the little fortune that the twins have been costing us. I mean, a doctor's appointment each time is easily over $100 and at times for the more detailed scanning, double to triple that.

Maybe it's because we realize from our marriage that children do grow up and leave their parents eventually and therefore, the one that has the highest chance of growing old with us would be our spouse. Investment of time, effort and money in the other is therefore required, even with addition(s) to the family unit.

I'm just wondering how many more monthiversaries we will be left with before it's no longer just the two of us every 26th of the month! :)

Monday, February 25, 2013

Baby Fair - Diapers, swaddles, bibs and sheets.

Before hitting the viability mark, I was very cautious about buying anything for the twins. In fact, I bought things for myself like the Bellaband, pregnancy bras, underwear, followed by some maternity clothes. The first few items I allowed myself to buy for the twins were the Halo sleepsacks, a playmat (all from online shopping!) and then, 2 high chairs which were on sale at a fantastic price. I never took these out of their wrappings / boxes, rationalizing that I could always sell them away if I had to.

The time I hit the viability mark coincided with the Baby Fair this month. And spend I did at the fair with great gusto! The first day of the fair, I was there half an hour early to queue for the goodie bag (which was a disappointment) and I ended up spending 5 hours at the fair when I had only intended to spend 2 hours maximum.

The second day, my CEB accompanied me (and I am thankful that I have a big strong guy) because we bought a huge lot of diapers from Huggies. There was absolutely no way I could have managed carrying all that diapers on my own!

So right now, I have from Huggies:
(1) For Newborn size: 12 packets, sold at S$10 for 3 packets (each packet has 24pcs).
(2) For Small size: 10 packets, sold at S$ 23.50 for 2 packets(each packet has 44. pcs)
(3) For Medium size: 10 packets, sold at S$11.75 (each packet has 40pcs)
and because my CEB wanted 2 sets of the Little Tikes toy, we ended up buying 2 packets of the Huggies Ultra Pants (L) at S$30+  (each packet has 44 pcs).

Considering that the babies use about 8 pcs a day, I figure that 6 packets of NB size per twin would last 3 x 6 days = 18 days each. That's 2 and a 1/2 wks, less than a month. And I still have 4 pkts of NB size diapers from Goon.

I also bought the Aden & Anais swaddles I had been eyeing for the longest time. I am so thankful didn't succumb and buy them earlier online because the fair had these going at 50% discount! I also bought 2 little packets of burp clothes at 8 for S$3, some wash cloths to bathe the little ones, 6 bed sheets at S$10 each and 1 mattress protector at S$17 from the various stalls at the baby fair. The only really bad buy were the Carter's bibs at 10 for $25 when I saw these selling online for about $2 each only! Oh well.

I also bought a nail clipper, brush set, some nose thingy and a powder puff box from Tollyjoy. Tollyjoy also had tops n bottoms selling at 5 for $3 and I bought a lot of these from 0 months all the way up to 18 months. Those were really good buys given the softness of the material. I also bought maternity pads from Pureen and a packet of cloth diapers which I now regret buying as I have no intention of using cloth. Oh well, these can always be sold on the forum.

I think I may have found the cure to nausea and fatigue - shopping! :D

Thursday, February 21, 2013

Oh the pains.

I'm relieved and grateful that the twins have stuck it out in me till viability - after crossing this threshold, they now have a 50% chance of survivial if they choose to see the world early. Something of course, I'm praying daily, not to happen.
I have to confess though that there are some days that I wish that I was already full-term and could deliver. While it's true that there will be oh-so-much-work-and-sleepless-nights when they are here, being the incubating nest for them these weeks have not been a ride in the park. I'll say this again for good measure - I'm not doing this pregnancy thing again. Not unless there is a drug that can put me out for the 9-10 months.

No matter how you cut it, 9-10 months is a damn long time. Esp when it comes to daily physical suffering. Even as I type this, my breastbone (under the boobs, at the top of the rib cage) is screaming in pain. It's the agony of my diaphragm being mashed into my ribs by the growing twins according to the doctor. Or it could be my rib cage expanding to take into account their growth and that hurts like a wire being lashed around the ribs. Then, there is the other pain - at my privates. The doctor says that this is because my ligaments there are relaxing to prepare for child birth. Hello! I wish I could tell my body that there will not be a labor process! A c-section it is going to be as Twin A is still breech! But my body doesn't know that so all I can do is waddle in pain now and oh, I need to mention too that I need to sit down so as to put on my lower body garments - pants, shorts, skirt, whatever...lifting one leg up while standing is getting to be impossible.

To add insult to injury, the past 2 days I discovered that I probably have piles, a common symptom for those approaching the third trimester or in the third trimester. ARGH!

And all the above is on top of the daily explosive vomiting, heartburn (oh, the slow-burning sensation going up my throat every time I belch, which is very often), indigestion, lack of appetite ( I feel like ripping out my digestive tract and giving it to my CEB so he can suffer too instead of enjoying his life as he is now), fatigue, forgetfulness, spells of giddiness....all of which renders me non-functional or irrational.

I wish someone had told me that pregnancy would suck so very bad. At least I would have been mentally prepared instead of being faced with discovering new pains and problems almost every week. :(

I am so miserable with all this pain, all this discomfort, all this inconveniences, that I feel like crying every day. That, or wishing or fantasizing that I could be in a medically induced coma till the twins are ready to be delivered.There are no longer good days or bad days - there are only good moments in bad days and those good moments are when I can get to sleep.

Yes, blissful sleep. Something which has eluded me without the aid of my anti-nausea medicine (side effect: sleepiness). I can't sleep till 3am, lying there feeling the twins go twitch, thump thump, tickle in there, and then getting up every half hour or so to empty the bladder. If I don't empty the bladder, Twin A (who is breech and lying lower than Twin B and hence the natural suspect of all this) kicking or stepping on my bladder is enough to make me feel like the pee is going to squirt right out on the bed. And that would be a disaster because I don't have the damn energy to change the blardy sheets, wash them and hang them up. Already vomiting on the toilet floor cloth and mat couple of days back and having to wash them out tired me so much I could not get to work that day.

I.just.want.to.sleep.and.not.wake.up.till.the.twins.are.delivered. Period.

And where you may ask, is my CEB? He tries to be helpful by buying back dinner, washing up occasionally and being good tempered through it all. BUT he can't help my physical suffering and that is what I am dealing with. Sure, he could do (and he'd better!) everything I told him to like mop, vacuum and soon, take over my laundry duties because hanging up clothes and ironing is becoming an impossibility for me now but he can't fix the pain. Sure, he could go out and buy what I told him to for the babies BUT because I am no longer rational with the pain and lack of sleep (and also of course because I am a control freak), I want to be the one doing it all. I need to make the decision and thank God he doesn't interfere. The worst he does is to question me "Is this necessary?" and truth be told I want to snap at him when he asks me that "Of course it is else why would I ask for it, damn it. I spent the hours reading up on what to buy for the babies, what is best, weighing the pros and cons, and you spend your time enjoying life with zero time spent on research so don't freaking question me if it is necessary". But I don't have the energy to snap at him so I usually just tell him yes. If he argues, I will very simply, take off his head and do what I want, without him (and if I have to do that without his help, the pile of resentment and anger I have against him will grow).

For now, he needs to (1) change the lock on the master bedroom door before the maid comes (2) get the freaking IP camera installed, again before the maid comes (3) research on and buy the safe, AGAIN before the maid comes and (4) buy a standing fan for the spare bedroom and (5) shift out the sh*t in the spare bedroom so the furniture can come by mid next month. Because time is running out for one, and I don't see things improving on the physical front for me as I get bigger and the twins get even bigger.

Right now, the twins are about 1kg each, and each waterbag and placenta probably weighs about another 1kg each so I have 4kg all centered in my abdominal area hurting me like I described above. When they are ready to be delivered, the twins should be about 3kg each so I'll be carrying 3 times my current weight, and the size of the waterbag and placenta then, would naturally be bigger. I don't want to even imagine how I'm going to FEEL at that point in time when I am all belly. Right now when I look down, I can see my belly button, no toes. I might even be on total bedrest as we progress (hospitalisation leave) so as to delay pre-term delivery so I would be rendered useless. (Pre-term delivery is of course very bad for the twins (undeveloped organs) and our pockets (want to know what the ICU cost is per day huh?).)

It's not going to get easier. It's going to get worse. And when the twins are here, I'll have a 10cm (at least) incision across my stomach running 3 layers (skin, tissue, muscle and the uterus itself) deep and how functional I'll be with a wound that size and 2 little babies that I have to pump my boobs for (oh, that's another horror in itself - I hear about bleeding, cracked nipples, engorgment), I really don't know. That's why I need to get everything fixed and settled for the babies by mid next month latest. The room needs to be ready by then as I can't deliver, come back, shop, pack and/or wash with 10cm worth of stitches across my stomach (bursting stitches and infection anyone?). And the babies' clothes and bottles needs to be washed before they come here so the maid better be here and she'd better be well-trained to do that...Oh, and guess what, we haven't even APPLIED yet for the maid. SH*T

God help me. God save my CEB. God bless us both.  It's far too late, far far too late now, but sweet Lord, what have we done?
(No, I'm not being dramatic).

Tuesday, February 05, 2013

First interaction with Daddy

The twins' movements have increased in strength significantly in just a few short weeks. From bubbly feelings to flutterings to downright strong lurches/rolls. Truth be told, the strength of these lurches scare me, esp when I put my hand on my tummy and I can feel the entire area under my hand move. I wonder what's going in in there - which twin is it that's awake, is she flipping to lie on her tummy, or is she moving to another spot in the womb or is that her kicking away (hopefully not at her sister!).

The movements run from between my bikini hairline to just above my belly button, and from right hip to left hip (even as I am typing this). 4 legs and 4 hands in there. So, two nights ago, the twins were particularly active in the night about 11am and I told my CEB to try to feel them. Of course, when he placed his hand on my stomach, they kept still and I thought it would be a lost cause. However, my CEB did the tapping on belly trick and waited. Less than 1 min later, there was a response - 2 hard lurches under his hand which he felt. Now, I wish I could record that he said something memorable at this moment but he only looked like a bug eyed frog in his surprise.

I also wish that I could write that it's all sunshine in the second trimester but it still isn't. Insomnia, explosive vomiting, fatigue etc. The latest I have to add to the list is the breathlessness I am feeling and the painful pressure around my chest just below my boobs. Now I understand what underwired bras are a no no. Even without the wire, any additional pressure there is so uncomfortable. I think it is the twins growing rapidly and pushing against my ribs. Maybe it's all the chicken essence and bird nest that I have been consuming!

And last weekend, I experienced two spells of giddiness - the kind where your face and lips become numb and you feel like you are fading away. Ugh. I had to sit down for a while to recover before I could walk as I was so afraid of passing out. My poor CEB had to run to buy h2o and axe oil and get plastic bags (for me to hurl in) while I sat on the platform at the babies section of a dept store. Nasty and definitely something to check out with the doctor later.

It's 2 weeks since the last scan and I hope all is well with the two of them. Can't wait to see them later and get their ultrasound shots!

ETA: The doctor explained the pain at my breastbone is caused by having twins...apparently they are pushing the diaphragm apart. Ugh. No cure for this. Both of them are active (esp twin b who was face down and on top of twin a again). Apparently twin A is still in a breach position which means a c-sec is on the cards. I have gained back a total of 4kg in all from the 5kg I lost in the first trimester and the twins are measuring smack in the 50th percentile this week. Due date got pushed back 3-5 days given their size so I guess I need to load up on even more protein for them.