When I came back from UK, my CEB surprised me with a short weekend getaway - a 2D1N stay at Lotus Desaru Beach Resort that came with a complimentary Fruit Farm Tour and return ferry tickets. All that, together with free parking at Changi Ferry terminal, complimentary entry to the Water Park, a buffet lunch at the Fruit Farm and ground transportation in Desaru taken care of for only SGD99 per head seemed like a jolly good deal.
The ferry was due to depart at 9.30am and we reached the ferry terminal at 8.50am despite the fine print on the form stating that we had to be there at least an hour before departure. I think we were the last to pick up the ferry tickets but there was no trouble at all. Surprisingly, there were quite a number of foreigners in addition to the groups of older folks waiting for the ferry to Desaru but all of us cleared the 2 booth customs checkpoint at the ferry terminal and boarded this ferry to Desaru.
I was incredibly tired from having slept little the night before and fell asleep on my CEB's shoulder. When I woke up, I thought the ferry hadn't moved because the view outside the windows looked the same. But apparently, we had completed the 45mins journey to Desaru. As we had chosen to sit indoors (which had aircon) as opposed to on the deck, we had to queue a bit to clear the Malaysia customs at Desaru ferry terminal. Although I had the MAC card, the customs officer insisted on stamping my passport. 1/3 pg of the precious few pgs left, sacrificed.There was a tour leader waiting for us once we cleared customs and he directed us onto the wrong bus. After waiting 15mins, we were told to disembark and board a smaller bus which took us straight to Desaru Fruit Farm. Our driver directed us to join one of the English speaking tour groups which were filled with middle-aged and older folks from Singapore. Thankfully the weather was just right as I hadn't brought my umbrella and despite my fears of being bitten by mosquitoes and other bugs at the farm because my mosquito repellent was in the luggage, I survived the entire 1 hour tour without incident.
The tour guide at the fruit farm was a lady who looked to have helped herself generously to the farm's produce and she spoke really good English. Despite our initial reservations and resignation to a boring meaningless tour, the tour turned out to be pretty informational. Stuff that I either had forgotten or hadn't learnt back in school.
I didn't take many pictures of the Cat's whiskers, durian trees, pineapples, pomelos and other native fruits, herbs and vegetables but I could not resist taking the picture above of 2 young girls posing for a photo with the giant jackfruits, and of this banana plant. The tour guide told us that the many little bananas symbolizes fertility for women. I've never seen anything like this before!
After wandering around more shrubs, trees and waiting for the other folks to take pictures of and pose with fruits and plants that we see in the markets, we finally got to the halfway mark of the tour - the pond below. Some folks had bread with them and they threw that to the koi fish in the water. The sight of so many kois surging forward to eat the bread was quite unforgettable.
We also had a chance to buy bottled drinks made from the farm's produce at RM2 before proceeding to the mini-zoo. My CEB fed an ostrich while I chased a duck around and clucked at some chickens. There were rabbits for sale and lambs for petting too. At the end of the fruit farm tour, we were picked up by the farm's vehicle for the 3mins ride back to the main building. The rest of the other folks rode in their air-conditioned buses. There, we found a table with our names and had quite a decent but very basic buffet. The folks at Desaru Fruit Farm were very well-organized and friendly. Definitely a thumbs-up in terms of service but one should not expect fancy fare (whether food or to buy back) there. The supermarket had an extremely poor selection of stuff to buy back (mangoes mostly) and I didn't see any mangosteens which the tour guide had informed us is 1 of the best source of anti-oxidants and has cooling properties.
After lunch (which really was not worthy of a picture), our driver sent us to the resort. He helped us to check in which took all of 8minutes while we waited in the lobby with our bags. The resort had a shuttle service from the lobby to the various blocks so we hopped onto one with our bags and had a tour of the buildings and club house before getting off at our block (Block B). Now, I have to say that the resort is very much like First World - the appearance of the buildings is definitely far from attractive, with each block painted some awful faded dull shade of pink, blue, green, yellow...you get the drift.
I didn't hold out much hope for the room we had either which was a long way from the lift and had to be accessed by stairs. However, we were pleasantly surprised to find ourselves in a spacious chalet which had 2 floors and came complete with a kitchenette. The next 2 pictures are of the ground floor. The TV was surprisingly small (32inch or less) but it had cable tv. And in place of a sofa in the living room, 2 armchairs were provided. Maybe to discourage additional guests from camping out in the room, or to allow for more chairs to be pulled up to the smallish dining table.
A picture of the bedroom on the second floor and the en-suite. My CEB complained that there was no TV and I have to say that if I hadn't brought a library book, I would have been bored out of my mind. The WIFI signal in the room was terrible, even on the ground level. 
We thought of going for a swim since our room was so near the water-park but I'll let the picture below do the talking. Yeah...what water park?! There was only 1 decent slide/ride (and not even very high) and the park is meant for kids. Like for kids below 12 yrs- nothing like Sunway Lagoon even (and I'm using Msia standards to compare!). The rest of the park consisted mainly of a giant bucket collecting water and tilting over every few mins on the heads of those who somehow found joy in being doused with a gallon of water from Gawd-knows-where.
There were other swimming pools in the resort and this is a picture of the one near the breakfast area. Good for a soak right after coming back from the beach.
In the evening, we made our way to the clubhouse. The function rooms of the resort are located there as well as some arcade machines and pool rooms. Again everything looks worn and dreary. This hotel is rather new but already like most hotels in Malaysia, it is in need of the maintenance that will never happen. I think it must be because it is cheaper to build something new than the maintain the old in that country.
So yes, dinner. As one can see from the picture below, the beach is within walking distance of the resort. The water is (still) an unappealing greenish bluish hue that makes swimming a no-no. And the beach is of a nondescript white that I feel sorry already for the foreigners who have come all the way for this. Still, beach-front dining beats the non-existent room service in the rooms so we had pizza and 2 drinks for just RM35 -this resort does not try to take advantage of guests with exorbitant meal prices. Alcoholic drinks are available and reasonably priced at the sea-facing bar.
The next day, we woke up to a very basic mass-market buffet breakfast but which left us satisfied till 430pm when we finally got back to Singapore on the 3.30pm ferry. The Slog Reviews: 5.5/10. Unless you have kids who are easily content with basics, or unless you have no access to a swimming pool or beach or unless you have really no dough and the beaches and pools of SG bore you, I would not recommend travelling from Singapore to Lotus Desaru Resort hotel. To put it simply, it just ain't worth the time and effort to get there. Not going back ever.
