Friday, October 22, 2010

Fair Fighting Rules for Couples by Nathan Cobb, Ph.D

Fair Fighting Rules for Couples by Nathan Cobb, Ph.D

FAIR FIGHTING RULE #1: NO DEGRADING LANGUAGE
Avoid name-calling, insults, put-downs or swearing. Putting your partner down or criticizing your partner’s character shows disrespect for his or her dignity. In sports there are many rules that prevent one player from intentionally injuring another. In marriage and relationships, similar rules must apply. When you intentionally injure your partner, it’s like saying, “You are not safe with me. I will do whatever it takes to protect myself or to win.”

FAIR FIGHTING RULE #2: NO BLAMING
It’s pointless to blame each other. Blaming your spouse distracts you from solving the problem at hand. It invites your spouse to be defensive and it escalates the argument.For example, if you leave a visa bill lying on the table for your spouse to see, and the bill later goes missing, you might be tempted to blame each other. You might insist that your spouse is disorganized, must have picked it up and put it somewhere else. Your spouse, in turn, might accuse you of being absent-minded and insist that you just don't remember where you put it. But blaming each other will not accomplish anything. It won't help either of you feel any better. It won't strengthen your relationship at all. And it won't help you find the bill.
In situations like this, make a conscious decision that your relationship is too important to undermine it with blame and judgment. Focus on keeping your goodwill for each other intact and finding solutions to the problem instead of blaming.

FAIR FIGHTING RULE #3: NO YELLING
Yelling only escalates things. Chances are nothing will get resolved when your emotions are running so high. If you’re mad and feel like yelling, then it’s time to step away and cool down (see rule #8).Keep in mind that yelling can be subjective. What is yelling to your spouse may not be yelling to you. Perhaps you are not tuned in to how you sound. Or you may have grown up in a home where family members were loud and passionate, and talking loud when you are upset seems normal.Your spouse's experience is the one that counts here, however. If it feels like yelling to your spouse, then you are at least raising your voice, if not yelling. Make a conscious effort to lower your voice. The meaning of your communication lies in how your message is actually landing with others. If you can’t tone it down because you are too upset, then it is probably best to take a time-out.

FAIR FIGHTING RULE #4: NO USE OF FORCE
Using physical force or threatening to use force (i.e. a raised fist or a verbal threat) in any way is unacceptable. Develop the self-discipline to set limits on your anger and your behavior before you reach this level. If either of you resort to physical force and violence in your relationship, seek professional help.Use of force includes pushing, shoving, grabbing, hitting, punching, slapping or restraining. It includes punching a hole in a wall, throwing things or breaking something in anger. Acting out your anger in these ways violates the other person’s boundaries and sense of safety. Each of us has a right to be safe and free of abuse or physical danger in our relationships.

FAIR FIGHTING RULE #5: NO TALK OF DIVORCE
In the heat of an argument, threatening to leave the relationship is manipulative and hurtful. It creates anxiety about being abandoned and undermines your ability to resolve your issues. It quickly erodes your partner’s confidence in your commitment to the relationship. Trust is not easily restored once it is broken in this way. It makes the problems in your relationship seem much bigger than they need to be.

FAIR FIGHTING RULE #6: DEFINE YOURSELF, NOT YOUR SPOUSE
This rule is about being the expert of your own world, not your spouse’s world. Use words that describe how you feel, and what you want and need, not what your partner feels, wants, or believes. It may seem easier to analyze your partner than to analyze yourself, but interpreting your partner’s thoughts, feelings and motives will distract you from identifying your own underlying issues, and will likely invite defensiveness from your spouse. More importantly, telling your spouse what he or she thinks or believes or wants is controlling and presumptuous. It is saying that you know your spouse’s inner world better than your spouse does.
Instead, work on identifying your own unmet needs, feelings, and ways of thinking and describe these needs and feelings to your spouse.

FAIR FIGHTING RULE #6: STAY IN THE PRESENT
Stay in the present and resist the temptation to use the situation as an occasion to bring up other issues from the past. It’s discouraging to keep bringing up the past. You can’t change the past. You can only change today. You can look forward to a better future. Try to keep your focus on what can be done today to resolve the issue at hand and go forward from there. If you get off-topic, on to other issues, stop yourselves and agree to get back on track. You can always come back to other issues later.If you do find yourself bringing up issues from the past it is likely because those issues were never resolved in the first place. Things may have happened that you and your spouse never really talked about. Or you may have tried to talk about it in the past but without fighting fair. This rule will be easier to follow, going forward, if you both make a commitment to discuss issues as they happen rather than letting them fester.

FAIR FIGHTING RULE #7: TAKE TURNS SPEAKING
Let one person speak at a time. When one speaks, the other should be listening—really listening, not just planning their rebuttal. Take turns speaking and listening so that you both have a chance to say what you need. This goes back to the rules we were taught as kids about respectful playground behavior. Have you ever tried to work through a difficult issue when your spouse was talking over top of you and interrupting you? How did you feel? Consciously remind yourself about this when you feel an overwhelming urge to interrupt or speak your mind.

FAIR FIGHTING RULE #8: WHEN NECESSARY, USE TIME-OUTS
Violating these fair fighting rules is typically a sign that you have already crossed a threshold physiologically, in which signals from the more primitive, emotional centers of your brain have begun to drown out the signals from the more rational parts of your brain. Stress hormones flood your body at this stage. Self-preservation becomes the focus. In this fight-or-flight state, creative problem-solving and mutual cooperation are unlikely. You end up in an escalating argument that becomes more and more hostile and defensive. In fact, it is impossible to have a rational discussion in a climate of hostility and disrespect. This is when its time for rule #8: call a time-out. A time-out is a short break to cool off, calm down and get perspective. Think of it like pushing the pause button on a video. It’s an opportunity to restore calm and be more reflective instead of reactive. Use the time-out to reflect on why you feel the way you do. Think about how to express yourself in a positive way. Try to think about the other person’s feelings and point of view. Think things through before you speak. Then “push play” again and return to each other to resolve the issues calmly.A time-out should be at least a half-hour long (but no longer than twenty-four hours). It takes at least a half-hour for your body’s physiology to return to a normal resting state and for your thoughts to become less hostile or defensive. It’s surprising how different a person’s outlook can be after they’ve had a chance to calm down.

Tuesday, October 12, 2010

Thistle Hotel in JB

Following my earlier entry about Tune Hotel in JB, I would recommend anyone who has to spend a night in JB, to stay in Thistle Hotel instead. The hotel building used to be under the Hyatt group until a couple of years ago when Thistle took over. So, while the building and rooms are not spanking new, the hotel makes a really affordable AND more importantly, comfortable weekend getaway.

I would add though that there is a rather large difference between the superior rooms and deluxe rooms at Thistle, having stayed at both in the past few months. The price difference though is marginal (SGD 20 max) and one should therefore book the deluxe room (see pic below) where the bathtub is far cleaner (the superior's tub was so grotty we didn't use it) and situated where one can soak and watch TV at the same time. For the superior room, the bathroom is located at a corner of the room instead (ie one cannot see into the bathroom from the bedroom.)


Although the bed looks rather large and provided a really comfy night sleep, we discovered that it comprises of 2 super single beds pushed together which means therefore that the bed sheets must have been custom-made.

The toilet is rather simple but pure luxury compared to Tune Hotel's. Ample clean towels nicely rolled and conveniently placed, tissue paper and toiletries (shower cap, ear buds, toothbrush etc) all provided. Like the toilet I do :)

The best bit about the toilet however is that there is a separate area for showering and a bath tub for soaking and watching TV from the tub. My CEB, as you will note from the picture below, is all about enjoying the view from the hotel room while eating chocolate cake. The Deluxe rooms at Thistle faces Danga Bay, quite unlike the Superior rooms which faces the carpark.

From the hotel room, we could also look down and get a view of the entire swimming pool. Towels are provided at the Hatch Fitness Centre located near the pool and hotel guests can use the facilities at the Fitness Centre which includes a sauna (separate ones for male and females).

The package we had purchased came with breakfast and the buffet breakfast while nothing impressive, was pretty decent (though not decent enough for one to pay the full price seperately for the same if it doesnt come in the package) - Western food (Cereal and the hot items like sausages etc), Malay food (nasi lemak), Chinese food (prawn noodles etc) and the mandatory egg station. The view at the dining area was pretty nice with the full length glass windows overlooking the pool area.

As usual, my CEB, who knows how I like my eggs (sunny sides up!) did his trademark face thingy with the eggs. :) I guess in the end, it is the small things that does matter... :)

The Slog Reviews: 9/10. Thistle Hotel's deluxe room is the best place to stay in JB thus far. Value for money, and not that kind of Tune Hotel's value for money.

Tune Hotel at Danga Bay, JB

This weekend was meant to be one of the few "Stay in Singapore and get things done" weekends but my CEB wanted some quality time together so we reached a compromise. On Sat morn, we stayed in Singapore doing what we had to do till 3pm and then drove in to JB until Sunday afternoon 12.30pm when we made our way back to Singapore to do the rest of the stuff.

Given the short period of time we would be in JB, we decided to try out the budget hotel, Tune Hotel at Danga Bay. This is the second time I've stayed at a Tune hotel, the first being the Tune hotel at Kota Kinabalu where I was pretty fine with the place other than than the fact that the hotel room had no windows, and the corridors were narrow like a prison.

The Slog Reviews: 7/10. We had no problems with the check in and check out. A deposit of RM5 was required for the room key card at check in and refunded promptly during our check out. The counter staff was polite, fluent in English and rather helpful. He gave us a useful $ saving tip which is that we should have bought the aircon svc for 12 hours instead of 24 hours because everytime one leaves the room, the aircon is switched off when you remove the room key card. And there is no way to replace the room key card with another hotel's room key card. I had bought 24hrs cos I figured if we checked in at 4pm, the aircon would be switched off at 4am the next morning but nah, in the end, when we went out for dinner etc, we had more than enough spare aircon time. Anyway, if one runs out of the 12 hours aircon time and requires more, one can purchase the same from the hotel later. As for internet service, there are about 4 computers provided at the lobby for guests' usage free of charge. I wasn't sure how safe the computers were so I didnt go to any sites which required passwords. As for the room itself, I didn't think the room was too small - certainly no smaller than the master bedrooms of the new condos these days. There was a rain shower with hot water. No toiletries at all, no towels, no hot water facilities in the room, no clothes cupboard but hey, there was a window this time. I am not sure why the hotel claims to have a 5 star bed but this is the first hotel where I've stayed at with my CEB where I woke up almost every 2 hours (and woke him up too) ie I had a really bad night sleep unlike the other hotels I've stayed at. It was really bad - I'll check my hp and it would be 2am, then 4.20am then 540am then 7am then 830am...I don't think I'll be going back to Tune Hotel at JB any time soon. There are plenty of hotels in JB which are just as reasonably priced and worth trying out I think.

Monday, October 11, 2010

Yut Kee in Kuala Lumpur

So in my earlier post about Sheraton Imperial KL hotel, I said I would write about Yut Kee, a gem that I stumbled upon while in search for lunch. According to some websites and the owner, this coffeeshop has been around for more than 80 years and was handed down through the generations. The signboard in the pic below is of the menu and prices of the items displayed prominently on one of the coffeeshop's wall, and below the menu are framed newspaper articles about the place.
Yut Kee caught my attention because of the small crowd of people standing outside the coffeeshop waiting for a seat at about 1.30pm that Sat afternoon. Curious, I joined in the crowd and was most pleased when the owner's son, the chap in blue on the extreme right of the pic below, called out to me and asked me how many pp I had in my party. Well, I told him that there was just me, and he alloted me a seat immediately at a table with 2 other couples. Thumbs up for a great first impression! Unlike some owners of other famous/popular eating places (eg this Bak Kut Teh place in KK called Yu Kee), Yut Kee's owners make an effort to take care of their customers' primary need - securing a seat/table at their popular coffeeshop based on a first come first serve/no of pp in the party system.

Now, I had no clue what to order and asked one of the servers for recommendations. He suggested having the slices of the roast pork roll with apple sauce which apparently is available only on certain days of the week. Below is a pic of the table where the pork roll was placed, sliced and either served on the green plates or packed for customers in the white styrofoam boxes.

This is how my meal of roast pork looked like. The Slog Reviews: 8.5/10. The skin of the pork roll was extremely crunchy (but not burnt at all) and contrasted nicely with the soft tender mix of meat and fats. The potatos were rather unremarkable and so was the veg. If one must try the pork roll, just order the pork roll slices on its own without the sides. I didnt like the apple sauce though which was rather too cold and sweet for my liking. That being said, I liked the roast pork enough to order a helping for takeaway for my CEB (who hadn't arrived in KL yet). My CEB who ate the roast pork about 2hrs later (which meant that it was cold), didn't rave about it so I guess this is one of those dishes which should be eaten at the restaurant instead of packed home.

The server also recommended to me, the Roti Babi dish which cost RM7.50. (The restaurant forgot my order so I had to remind them...or they probably thought a gal shouldn't be eating two main courses. Hah). This is how it looked like when served - very unimpressive.

But my oh my, the roti babi tasted freaking fantastic, even when eaten 2 hours later according to my CEB. The Slog Reviews: 10/10. I've never eaten a roti babi before but the incredible light soft fluffiness of the bread totally blew me away - from the moment I sliced in to when I put it in my mouth where it blended and melted away...totally heavenly! The stuffing which comprised of sliced sausages, minced crab meat etc was a delicious mix which proved neither too salty, or hard but was a perfect complement to the bread. Definitely a must-have!

I noticed many people had ordered this dish below which looks like fried noodles in dark sauce, including both couples at my table. The owner's son told me that the shop would be open for breakfast as early as 7.30am on Sun and I said I would drop by for breakfast to order this dish but unfortunately, because of Jogoya, my CEB vetoed the idea. I guess I will just have to wait for the next time I get to KL then :)

Here are the necessary details to help you get to Yut Kee

33, Jalan Dang Wangi
Tel: 03-2698 8108
Opens from 8am – 5pm daily
Closed on Mondays and last Sunday of each month

Saturday, October 09, 2010

Jogoya Buffet in KL

After Jogoya, I swore I wouldn't have another buffet meal. However, this vow was not meant to last as my friends wanted to have a dinner buffet at Suki Coca Restaurant on Fri night.

Friday, October 08, 2010

Sheraton Imperial KL Hotel

Following my last post abt how Tiger Airways and before I leave for my next weekend jaunt tomorrow, I thought I'll write a bit about KL. There are so many food places and hotels that I've been meaning to write about but never had the time/mood to. So the entries are all haphazard and not in chronologically order, which bugs me some but not enough for me to redo. :D

So, KL. I'd bought my plane ticket some months before when my CEB and I were just friends. I initially thought of not going to KL altogether or going alone but my CEB was all game to go up so we did. Because I was 1 stay away from being a gold SPG member, we decided to stay at 1 of the Starwood group of hotels in KL. It was a toss up between Sheraton Imperial and The Westin but in the end we chose Sheraton after reading some net reviews.

So, because of Tiger's cancellation of my flight, I reached KL on silkair b4 my CEB. From the airport, I followed the signboards that said "Coach/Buses" and got on one of those coaches heading to KL Sentral. Cost was RM10 compared to the cost of RM70 taking a taxi and the ride was pretty comfortable and not too long - about an hour without any traffic jams. (Not too sure why the buses/coaches bay is located some distance away at the corner of the basement level of the airport.

When I got to KL Sentral, I had no idea how to get to the KL Monorail so I took the lift up to the shopping centre level only to be told that I had to take the lift back down to the same level as the bus bay, cross the road and follow the sheltered walkway all the way to the KL Monorail Station which is about a 8min walk away and on the other side of the road. I am not sure why KL Monorail does not have any ticketing machines so I had to queue up at the counter to purchase a ticket to get to Medan Tuanku Station. The journey was rather short from KL Sentral - about 15mins max but of course, being a monorail, the no of seats was minimal. Below is a pic of Medan Tuanku Station which is just a very short 2 mins walk away from Sheraton Imperial KL Hotel.

The official check-in time was 3pm so when I reached the hotel at 12noon, the hotel staff told me that I could not check in yet. As my plan was to go to their award-winning (the award was won in 2006 hah) spa anyway after having lunch, I was fine with that. The entire row of restaurant cum pubs along the left side of the restaurant near the monorial station was closed for lunch so I ended up walking all the way to the end of the street and making a fortituous left turn to chance upon Yut Kee (which I shall write about in the next post).

After lunch, I tried my luck once more with the reception at Sheraton Imperial and was told that they had a room ready for me at 1pm! The counter staff told me, as I was taking the 2 room keys, that the room was on the 4th highest floor and I was wondering why he'd told me that until I got to the lift. I'd to use the room key to access the floor my room was at and next to the button was a little plague that said "Club Room". However, when I tried to access the club lounge, access was denied :P No club lounge benefits despite the complimentary upgrade.

Anyway, a pic of Sheraton's club room taken from the foyer area.

And another picture of the room taken from behind the couch.

The Slog Reviews: 8.5/10. Sheraton Imperial KL's club room certainly is generous in size as most club rooms would be, provides a seperate room (behind the pic on the wall) for hanging clothes and luggage bags (there is also a weighing scale and ironing board with an iron in the room), but what I really dig about this room is the bath tub which is considerably deep and large for two. Nothing remarkable about the toiletries provided except that there was a mouth wash and a body loofah. The only thing I didn't really like was that the size of the LCD TV, and I think this is the first hotel I've stayed where the marble floor was so cold I had to use the bedroom slippers, something which I never had to do. No alcohol provided in the fridge of course (this is a Muslim country mind!) but there was an ice bucket for us to chill the drinks we bought. Given its proximity to the monorial, unless one is a late night party-goer, Sheraton Imperial provides more than decent enough digs if one is in KL

Thursday, October 07, 2010

House Rules by Jodi Picoult

I reserved this book weeks ago and almost forgot about it until I received a reminder from NLB that the book was ready for collection. It really has been quite some time since I've read a fiction book - backlog of Time magazines on my room's table is the primary reason. It doesn't help too that my "reading" taste has changed considerably over time from fiction to non-fiction.


That being said, I got home about 11 last night and despite my resolve to put down the book at an appropriate time and have an early night, I found myself reading till 3-4am this morning until I got to the end of the book. I don't think I could write a synopsis of the book as well as this one found here by the author herself. There are also extracts of the book found on that webpage.

The Slog Reviews: 8/10. Most of JP's books are tearjerkers on its own but not this one, well, not unless one relates to the subject matter of "autism". Even so, this book has a happy ending, unlike the last book "Handle with Care" which had a most tragic unexpected ending. I've never met anyone or known anyone personally who is autistic but after reading House Rules, I am filled with even more respect and admiration for someone I know whose child is autistic. Given what a wonderful person she is intrinsically, indeed I see why God would chose to give a child with special needs to her to love and take care of. The challenges that a mother faces with an autistic child is depicted in a realistic yet heartbreaking manner in House Rules. And because of that, it dawns upon me after reading this book, how this woman I know of, is able to do what she does and be someone I can only hope to be someday, some time.

Friday, October 01, 2010

Perle Noire Oyster & Grill Bar

If one is ever in the East and in search of fine grub in a really nice setting, one should most certainly drop by Perle Noire. The restaurant has both indoor and outdoor seating and while the outdoor section is good for having a beer or some other type of poison (the restaurant has a pretty good wine list and serves cocktails too), the indoor seating area as per the pic I took below, is great for a romantic dinner or a cosy get together with friends. I'm not into music so I didn't really mind the background music being played but we heard a patron asking the staff for some variety to the music which was admittedly, the sort which would appeal to those into a certain genre of music only.

We each had the restaurant's signature black olive roll. Each roll is priced at SGD1 and comes served wrapped individually in a clean cloth. The Slog Reviews: 8/10. The thought given to the presentation of this simple starter is worth commending. The olive dip and creamy butter goes wonderfully with the warm fluffy bread which melts in one's mouth at the first bite.

As we got to the restaurant rather late about 9pm, I ordered the first item on the menu which appealed to me - Sea Scallops Carbonara @ SGD 30. The Slog Reviews: 9/10. This dish is a must try for those who love all warm, creamy and fattening meals. The scallops were cooked to the right degree and remained spongy to the bite. Although the scallops were large and cooked well, I have to say that they lacked the sweetness that smaller scallops have. Still, that aside, I would recommend this dish to all scallop lovers :)

My dinner companion on the other hand opted for the fish of the day. As he didn't offer me a bite (and no, I didn't ask), I am unable to comment whether the seabass below was worth SGD24 (after the 15% discount for the fish of the day). The only observation I have is that the presentation of such a simple food item was done very nicely

The Slog Reviews: The service at Perle Noire is impeccable and the staff here go all out to make your dining experience with the restaurant one a pleasant and memorable one. When I asked one of the staff if they were open for lunch, another staff provided us of her own initiative, the set lunch menus. They were also sought feedback on the food and this, combined with the atmosphere and good food, makes this restaurant a jewel in all sense of the word (Perle Noire - Black Pearl).

The Academy Bistro

I just had a buffet over the first weekend of October, which reminded me of the last buffet I had before that one. We had some credits in our academy of law account and some bright spark decided that we should utilise these at the academy bistro located on the first floor of the Supreme Court. Just to be sure we could, I called the bistro the day of our lunch and was told that we couldn't use these credits. Since we'd made reservations anyway, we decided to still go ahead with our idea of having lunch there.

We were told that only the buffet was available that day and at SGD15+ it didn't seem too awfully steep so we agreed to the buffet without checking out the spread. Well, I guess on hindsight we could have just walked in to look at the food items first before commiting to the reservation but as it was, we didn't and walking out after being seated is such a no-no. So, the next 2 pictures below will reflect what the spread consisted of - yes, there was such variety NOT.

As you would have noted from the pic above and the pic below, the more expensive food items would be the cod fish and the salmon. The Slog Reviews: Thumbs down for variety but the cod fish was cooked rather well in a flavorful gravy and if one loves cod fish, ah, the buffet would be well worth one's money then. If one doesn't eat fish at all, then one must be contented feasting on the rest of the other items which I am afraid, aren't too appetising.

There was a small section of the buffet for pies, cakes and fruits. The pecan pie was barely decent and the fruits were well, just cut fresh fruits. Nothing extraordinary or impressive at all.

The Slog Reviews: 7/10 for the buffet which really could do with more variety for that price. I saw The Rice Table's ad for its buffet which is priced at SGD17 and has a huge spread compared to the Academy Bistro's. And no, academy of law members do not get a discount off the buffet price at all. Given the proximity to Funan, my recommendation would be to give the bistro a miss if one isn't its target customer.

New Ubin Seafood (乌敏海鲜) - THE place for beef steak and crispy pork knuckles!

At our co's cocktail event last week, a group of us, each from a different department, decided to have lunch one weekday at New Ubin Seafood at the recommendation of R, a foodie. Now, I've been to New Ubin Seafood restaurant once before for an uncle's birthday and my impresison of the place was that it was an ordinary zi char restaurant serving good but not impressive dishes.

However, I'm now going to absolutely RAVE about the food this restaurant serves. It is, a bit of a co-incidence that the post before this one was about beef because I might have to switch loyalties between Astons Prime and New Ubin when it comes to decently priced beef steak. My colleague R had placed an order for good beef steak (emphasis is on good) a few days before our lunch date there and New Ubin delivered.

The Slog Reviews: 10/10. All 6 of us were blown away by the absolutely tender and moist medium-rare beef cubes. And the potato chips that came with the beef steak was fried to perfection. And I mean, perfection - the outside was hot, salty and crispy without a single pc which was overcooked (too hard or black) and the inside was light fluffy hot potato...fantastic! The restaurant should really re-name/re-brand itself so that most pp wouldn't think that this restaurant specialises in seafood when it does a beef steak so wonderfully well!


We also shared a place of the traditional Ubin Fried Rice, which as per the pic below, is black and not white rice. According to R, the rice is placed under the beef steak when it is cooked so that the gravy of the beef seeps into the rice as it is cooked. The Slog Reviews: 10/10. With some nice crispy burnt bits mixed with the softness of the rest of the rice, this is a must order dish too, if one goes to New Ubin Seafood. And, the rice isn't the least bit too oily for the stomach!

R claimed that the Crispy Pork Knuckles is better than those served in the more expensive restaurants and I have to say, R is absolutely right. The Slog Reviews: 10/10. The pork knuckles are to die for - I love pork knuckles and the pork knuckles by New Ubin Seafood are the best I've ever tasted. The skin is fried to such exquisite crispiness with the mandatory soft layer of fat on the inside. Unlike other pork knuckles which are just skin and fat, the dish below had lots (chunks of in fact) of tender delicious meat. And if all that isn't good enough, one should have the sauce. Spicy, fiery exquisite sauce - one absolutely CANNOT miss having the sauce. And the restaurant is quite willing to give an extra bowl too. Drench the crispy skin, tender fat and juicy meat in the sauce and put all of that in your mouth....you'll thank God for the little things on your tongue called taste buds!

The group also ordered the famous salted egg squid but as I don't eat sotong/squid/calamari, I didn't have any of that at all. The verdict from those who had the dish was that it was good but not extraordinary ie they had better at other places.

Just a little tip: It is far easier to find parking during dinner hours than lunch hours because all the parking lots are used by the car repair workshops in the area!

Block 27 Sin Ming Road (behind Block 26) #01-174 Sin Ming Industrial Estate Sector A
Tel: 6466 9558
Open Daily 11:30am-2:30pm, 5:30pm-10:30pm

Tuesday, September 28, 2010

Beef - Wagyu Beef Grade 6 from Astons Specialities and Hock Lam Beef Noodles

Remember the last review I wrote about Hock Lam Street beef kway teoh (click here) where I gave the food a 6/10? Well, after having the take-away bowl of beef noodles below, I've decided to revise my opinion about the food. The bowl of beef noodles was fabulous on its own ie without comparison against the past experience eating the same. Maybe it is a one-off thingy, maybe it was a different chef, or maybe takeaway beef noodles is nicer than beef noodles eaten there (because the noodles were allowed to soak in the gravy for a longer period of time?), I'm not sure. All I know is that being the queen of second chances does pay off once in a blue moon and agreeing to have the beef noodles below is one of those times. :)

However if one is looking for consistency in the standards of beef at not too exhorbitant prices, I would recommend Astons Prime. Astons Specialities at Sembawang isn't too far off the mark either - it is value for money per my earlier review but based on my experiences there, I would only order the wagyu beef there and not the other options like Ribeye etc. The last time I was at Astons Specialities was somewhere back in June just before my SZ/HKG trip. We had the Wagyu Beef Grade 6 which came with 2 sides and was priced most decently at about SGD37 each. The Slog Reviews: 8.5/10. The beef was just the right thickness and cooked so perfectly that each bite of the meat retained its full flavor. All beef lovers should have wagyu beef at least once a month I think.

Happy Chef and Chicken Kiev

My CEB had been craving for chicken kiev for quite some time and although I tried to find some other place in Singapore which sells chicken kiev, the results of my search pointed to just one place - Happy Chef Western Food.

Because I'd been there all of 2 times, my CEB and I made a wrong turn getting there but eventually found the place which is located right along the side road branching off North Bridge Road named "Crawford Lane". The nearest carpark is the one with cashcard parking gantries. Happy Chef is right smack in the middle of the stalls of that coffeeshop and appears to be your rather ordinary Western food stall except for the many newspaper articles about the place pasted on the pillar in front of the stall.

One has to make payment upfront right after ordering from the rather extensive menu with the prices clearly displayed next to a picture of each food item. Cash terms of course. My CEB had the chicken kiev at SGD6.50 which was served quickly enough but had been cut into 3 pieces:


The Slog Reviews: ?/10. The reason for the ? is that I didn't get to have even a bite of the chicken kiev. Now, my CEB claimed it wasn't as good as the ones he had in UK when he studied there BUT he totally forgot to offer me a bite which is quite, unlike him. And he finished all of the kiev rather quickly so I guess it mustn't have been too awful. On a side note, if one wants to buy frozen chicken kiev, one can go to the shop specialising in frozen meat near Cold Storage at Parkway Parade.

I on the other hand, had the battered fish. The Slog Reviews: 6/10. The fish neither tasted fresh (but that doesn't mean it wasn't fresh) nor impressed the taste buds in any way. The chips were also tasteless and hard, much like the veg which was served along with the fish. After reading more about Happy Chef on the net, it seems that the dish to order is the pork ribs so one might want to give the fish a miss and try that instead.


Address:
466 Crawford Lane
11am to 10pm daily

Monday, September 27, 2010

Legend of the Guardians: The Owls of Ga'Hoole (2010) movie

We decided to take a leisurely drive back to Singapore after leaving Melaka about 3+pm. So instead of taking the North-South Highway, we followed the direction of the signboards that said "Muar" and from "Muar", we followed the signboards that said "Batu Pahat". We reached Batu Pahat Mall's cineplex about 5.45pm and because my CEB had watched almost all the movies showing without yours truly, he agreed to watch the only non-Malay movie he hadn't watched so far "The Owls of Ga'Hoole" although it had started at 5.30pm.

By the time we sat down, we had missed the start of the movie which usually sets the stage of the movie and we hadn't a clue what the movie was about at all but it didn't take along for us to cotton on - bad (the Pure Ones) versus good (the Guardians). The hero of the movie was, as with most movies these days, a young (and yes, don't we all bemoan the loss of our youth) owlet named Soran, who makes the decision to break free from the Pure Ones when he realises that the Pure Ones aren't that pure. His brother, Kludd on the other hand, buys into the Pure Ones' evil plans wholeheartedly.

The Slog Reviews: 7/10. We didn't watch this movie in 3D (which after readings some reviews, is a far better watch than in 2D) and while we enjoyed it moderately, we felt that there was nothing novel or impressive about the movie - the plot or storyline. Both of us agreed that the movie reminded us of the epic "Lord of the Rings" movie even though the characters are of course, vastly different. I guess it is because of some of the scenes - the owls donning on battle gear aka the trolls, Kludd falling back into the flames aka golum It was also difficult to identify with Soren or any of the other characters too and although the owl-warrior-poet "Twilight" got some laughs from the audience, the humor was slapstick and far from witty. I am not sure about children's capacity for violence these days and although the fighting scenes were not gory, I'm not sure if I'll like my child watching talons being sharpened to a vicious shine, owls using their claws to tear at each other and brother turning on brother etc...

Tuesday, September 21, 2010

Effective Communication

At our company's cocktail event last week, we had a workshop on effective communication. It was one of the better workshops that I've attended and so I thought I'll write it down the tips I'd jotted down. Toolbox for making great connections 1) Eye Contact 2) Body Language 3) Words (Finding things in common) 4) Intonation/Enounciation 5) Style (Delivery - informal/informal) 6) First impresions (Looks, Status, Dressing, Voice, Handshake, Smile, Manners, Presentation of oneself) What makes a great communicator great 1) Clarity (Organised Thoughts) 2) Good Tone 3) Ability to articulate 4) Knowledge of what he is talking about 5) Able to keep the listener's attention 6) Able to obtain respect and rapport 7) Engaging 8) Good listener 9) Empathy (put yourself in the other person's shoes and imagine how they feel) Dangers of not communicating well Confusion, conflict, reduced productvity (wastage), ruined relationship, affects your reputation/image, affects your company's image Door openers (Non-webal, verbal) Smile, Nodding, Look concerned (approprirately), Looking interested, handshake, turn and face the speaker Say "Right", "Really", "That's interesting" Active listening An active listener will: 1) show genuine facial expressions 2) use good eye contact and body language 3) occasionally show understanding 4) provide regular verbal feedback 5) ask questions requiring more detail 6) ask a balance of open and closed questions 7) show patience and empathy 8) acknowlege the enthusiasm in the speaker's message 9) reflect back and think before replying 10) keep an open mind 11) listen to understand instead of listening to agree/disagree In short, active listening = empathetic listening 1) Encourages the speaker to speak 2) Confirms understanding 3) Show that you are interested 4) Reduces possibility of misunderstanding 5) Encourages speaker to develop the message and his/her feelings 6) Shows care and understanding rather than you are demanding and controlling How to paraphrase "So what you are telling me is..." "Am I right to say...." "In other words...." "What I am hearing you say is that...." "So basically you feel that..." "I see. You that that...." Other tips 1) Slow down (speech) 2) Keep language simple 3) Enunciate (use whole mouth) 4) Emphasize for meaning 5) Check for understanding 6) Have a clear goal 7) Be courteous even if stressed 8) Listen effectively 9) Encourage positive thinking 10) Treat the listener how THEY (and not you) wish to be treated

Monday, September 20, 2010

Banking in Malaysia

I am aware of the CLOB incident where many fellow Sporeans lost their hard-earned monies. I don't believe for a moment that my monies will be safe in Malaysia, esp when I don't have a Msian citizen as a joint account holder (that option which was once open to me, no longer is).

However, after an evaluation of the pros and cons, as well as weighing the likelihood of losing everything, I decided to open a bank account with one of their most (if not, the most) established banks starting with the letter M. Actually, I was a bit more ambitious than that and decided to open an account with another of their banks starting with the letter R.

I checked the websites most carefully on the requirements before going down to the branch and prepared the necessary - passport, NRIC and even, my utilities bill. The lady at the counter that day told me I could not open a savings account but only a current account which had a charge of RM5 a month. Only after I'd asked if there were any other options which weren't quite so expensive did she offer the alternative of an account (current) with a charge of RM10 every 6 months. However, she required RM1000 for that account and thankfully I had that amount. However, my CEB had some doubts and the long-short was that we agreed to check out other options available such as R bank before commiting. We even went to another branch of M bank to ask about opening the account there but was told that "system is down - come back another day".

So last weekend, after a couple of emails from R bank informing me I could not open any account whatsoever with them, I went back to M bank and there was a different lady at the counter. She informed me that I was only eligible to open the account with a RM5 monthly charge. It was only when I firmly insisted that the lady the week before had processed the forms half way for me for the other account that she finally conceded that I could open this other type of account. BUT BUT, she wanted to make it tough - not only did she want my NRIC, Passport, copy of my utilities bill, the RM 1000 and also evidence of where I worked, something which wasn't required before. Anyway, to get the account open, rather than argue with her, I gave her my namecard which apparently was good enough.

She told me to wait for the girl at the next counter to process the forms and sat there we did. For a full one hour. Now, the girl was doing nothing, attending to no one else but her colleagues who came over to slouch in the chairs opposite and joke with her. At the end of one hour, when the other lady asked her if she was done, she just said "System problem". The other lady took over and immediately used the same computer which had a "system problem" to complete the processing in all of the next 15mins. When I groused about to my CEB, he said that if this country was as efficient as ours, we would be in serious trouble and therefore if I insisted on banking here in Msia, I would have to put up with stuff like this. Fine.

So, after the processing was completed, the lady gave my a Visa Debit card and a paper card which stated just my name and my account number. Except that it stated Savings Account instead of Current Account above my account number. When I questioned her, she said it didn't matter. And when I asked her for a copy of the forms which I'd signed on for the account opening, she said that these were not available to customers. I even asked her for a pamplet on this current account which states the rates/charges/interest and she told me the bank had none to give as all the information is on the website. Great. Just great.

And so to top it all off, when I "login-ed" to internet banking this morning, I found that RM8 had been deducted as bankard annual fees payment. I called the head office in KL to check and they told me it was because I'd applied for unlimited withdrawals. I told them I most definitely hadn't and they told me to call the JB branch. I asked if there was a possibility of reversal of the charge and she said I should just accept the fees paid for this one year. Fantastic Eh.

It gets even better - when I asked her if payment of petrol using the visa debit cards = withdrawals, she said no. She asked if anyone told me that there would be a deduction of RM 200 each time I used the card for petrol withdrawal which would subsequently be credited back to the account after 5 days and the correct amount charged then. I said no. Well, apparently it is something that wasn't mentioned to me despite me telling the lady at the branch my primary purpose of opening the freaking account.

Msia banking boleh indeed.

Tuesday, September 14, 2010

CIMB credit card and Nijyumaru

I received my CIMB credit card in the mail sometime when I was in Cairns (along with the new Standchart Platinum Mastercard AND a Standchart Preferred World Mastercard which I most certainly didn't even apply for - but I'm not complaining because of the vouchers that came with the cards, and the 25000 free stdchart pts for the Preferred card which I can redeem S$100 worth of Tangs vouchers with).

Anyway, the CIMB credit card came with a book on all the benefits/privileges attached to the card. There was a seperate section on discounts at restaurants in JB and I've decided that we should try out the different restaurants listed there. If my food companion, my CEB, had the final say in this matter (where we eat), I'll be eating and writing about the same places over&over again, like at his favourite Japanese restaurant in JB, Nijyumaru. I like the place very much too, don't get me wrong (see my first review of the place here (this entry has the address of both outlets)). However, variety is the spice of life, and all the more so when it comes to food :D

So, since CEB specifically requested that I blog about how good the food is here, esp the "red-wine beef cubes" which he claims is even better than the horrendously expensive double rib eye premium steak in Saigon which we had on my birthday (another post for that),I've decided to take the photos from our most recent dining experience at Nijyumaru (4 Sept 2010) and write about the experience.

My CEB loves tuna sashimi (not salmon) and it was no surprise that he ordered this:

Given the speed he finished the contents of the bowl (which wasn't too large), I guessed it must have been pretty good. To confirm, I asked him specifically how the food was and he said "Good".

I had my favourite Jap noodles - cha soba. The Slog Reviews: 8/10. I would say this dish is excellent value for money at just RM11. That's lesser than the cost of a cha soba packed lunch at the supermarket near my work place! This dish even came with a raw egg (which I wasn't too sure what to do with and left untouched). The only grouse I have is that there was a tad too little tea to soak the noodles in.

I also ordered 2 grilled scallops to go with the cha soba. The Slog Reviews: 5.5/10. I wouldn't recommend this dish at all. At RM[cant remember need to check the receipt], it wasn't worth the money because firstly, it was badly cooked and the meat stuck to the flesh and secondly, it was badly cooked (I just have to say that again hah) and the meat tasted gritty and sandy.

And of course, we ordered my CEB's favourite red wine beef. The Slog Reviews: 8/10. The beef is certainly well-marinated and tasty, and no, you can't go too far wrong ordering this dish (RM21) but I guess my CEB and I have quite different views when it comes to this dish. I found the beef too mushy to my liking, it lacks the texture of the beef at Aston Prime where one's teeth can literally sink in slowly to the meat.

Oh, and one thing about Nijyumaru, they always ask if one has made reservations, even if the party is small (like 2-3 pp). I've never made reservations and never had to wait for a table but then again, I've always made sure to go to the restaurant either slightly later (8+) or earlier (6+) instead of dinner time. However the fact that they ask (for reservations) is telling and those with a bigger party should make reservations.

Kirishima Shuzhou Japanese Restaurant

I was clearing out my office drawers this morning and I found the receipt for this restaurant which I'd kept for the purpose of blogging. But of course, per the previous entry, I haven't done so and now not just my memory of this experience, but the receipt as well is blurred, very blurred.

Anyway, I'd been told repeatedly that this is THE restaurant that Japanese in JB go to for a meal. So if one is looking for a place in Johor Bahru which has jap food that taste very similar to that found in Japan, Kirishima and not Nijyumaru, is the place to go. So one weekday evening in late June, because of the hour (8pm), we decided to forgo the usual grocery shopping and just have dinner (and pump petrol of course) in JB. Parking at Crystal Crown Hotel which is where the restaurant is located cost RM3. Here's a pic of the entrance of the restaurant on the second floor of the hotel (accessible through the lobby).


The menu which was rather impressive looking (despite the words "Japanese casual style dining) had a wide range of items for us to choose from. As we were pretty hungry, we ordered the sets. I ordered the Soba Takikomi which cost RM38 and this is just 2/3 of the set. The rest of the set (consisting of chawan mushi etc) can be seen in the last pic.

My CEB on the hand, who eats sashimi unlike The Slog, ordered the xxxx (receipt has blurred) Gozen which cost RM48. We were absolutely floored by the size of the set when it was served!

We also shared a Agedashi Dofu (RM 12) and if my memory serves me rightly, this dish was the only one which wasn't too our liking. Not that it wasn't good, but it tastes rather different from the agedashi tofus that we have at Jap restaurants here.


The bill for the food alone (see pic below) was RM98 but with the govt tax of 5% and svc charge of 10%, the total amt payable was RM112.70 altogether. That's why we end up going into Msia so often - it's impossible to get this amt and quality of food at a restaurant in a hotel for less than SGD 50 in Singapore!



Here are the restaurant's details:
Open from 12.00-2.30pm / 6.00-10.30pm throughout the year.
Address: 117, Jalan Tebrau, 80250 Johor Bahru, Johor. (Crystal Crown Hotel)
Tel: 07-276 2838

The Expendables (2010)

With a title like that, and a star-studded cast of action veterans from the 1980s to 1920s, it is no wonder that this movie opened at No 1 in the box offices of USA, UK and even China.

Now, this is strictly a guys movie IMHO. I grew up with Sly (short for Sylvester Stallone) who was my Dad's action hero of all times, and I adored Arnie (short for Arnold Schwarzenegger) ever since watching Terminator. Jason Statham is wicked (love his acting in Crank) and all Chinese know Jet Li of course. However, it took my learned colleague's explanation of how unique the fight scenes in this movie are (because of how the action veterans are paired up) before I could appreciate the movie, or rather, the purpose of the star-studded cast.

The Slog Reviews: 7/10. The plot is rather thin (you can read a review by clicking here) and all the "good guys" survive. Girly girls should give this movie a miss but guy guys would love this movie (esp the older guy guys)

Tuesday, August 03, 2010

Salt (2010) Movie

A superb action-packed movie. The Slog Review: 10/10. And if course, it doesn't help that Angelina Jolie is my favourite actress...hmmm, can't think of any movie of hers which I have dissed but Salt, Salt is a great movie with the story twists and non-stop action.

Salt (Jolie's character) turns out to be a Russian spy indeed - the major twist to the movie is that she has a change in heart, turns her back to the Russians and even turns on her mentor (kills him in retaliation for killing her husband in front of her). Another significant twist is that her boss/colleague turns out to be one of the hard core terrorist plants too by the Russians and whom she manages to kill too by strangling/breaking his neck with the cuffs around her wrists (she has to jump off the stairs to do this by the way).

Watch this movie to forget the real world out there (and to marvel at God's work of art - Jolie herself). :)

Monday, August 02, 2010